She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I have already put on my inside pants.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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