I am full of burrito and curiosity
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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