i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
