My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
