you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
