Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
she smelled like a LAN party
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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