3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
