i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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