i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
