For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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