There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
