well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
