i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
It's blow job season.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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