Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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