I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize