you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
