Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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