they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
