Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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