wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
