nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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