can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
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