Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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