Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
