why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
