Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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