I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
