So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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