i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
