just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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