i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
