Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
