there's paper in my vomit.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize