Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
The best revenge is premature balding
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
