Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
