You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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