What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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