girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
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