then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
