Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize