Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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