we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
