I molested 6 butterflies tonight
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
It's just like the Real World with babies
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
