The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
she smelled like a LAN party
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
