That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Someone shattered a urinal.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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