I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
