His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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