Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
