So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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