Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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