Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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