If that was your dad, he is hot
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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