discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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