i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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