I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
