Already got asked if we're dating
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
