did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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