I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
