I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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