Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
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