I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
