drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
