This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Randomize
