I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Randomize
