I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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