I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
