Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
