so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
