I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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