do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
i used baking grease as lip gloss
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
